


Belong

by Bowtiez



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depressed Peter Parker, Depression, Hurt Peter Parker, Hurt Tony Stark, Parent Pepper Potts, Parent Tony Stark, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker is Tony Stark's Biological Child, Peter Parker is a Mess, Poor Peter Parker, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Sad, Sad Peter Parker, Sad with a Happy Ending, Suicidal Peter Parker, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Lives, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark is Good With Kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-26
Updated: 2019-07-26
Packaged: 2020-07-09 15:29:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19890118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bowtiez/pseuds/Bowtiez
Summary: Based roughly around the song "Hold On" by Chord Overstreet.Trigger WarningforSuicidal Tendencies, please read the tags before reading this fic. Read with caution, and stay safe, everyone.Peter Stark isn't doing as well after the 'blip' as everyone thinks he is. Everything's changed, everyone's moved on, and he's been left behind in the dust...





	Belong

**Author's Note:**

> I just can't help but think that Peter took everything surprisingly well when you looking into _Spider-Man: Far From Home_. I've seen other fics with the same theme, and I recommend checking them out! 
> 
> Everyone is alive and of course there is a happy ending after all this internal angst because I'm not killing anyone off (very rude Endgame).
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy!

Peter isn’t taking returning from the ‘blip’ as easily as everyone thinks he is. 

How could he be? Everyone... everything's different now. 

Everyone’s moved on. 

How is he supposed to just... come back? Be perfectly fine when his dad has a new family... He married Pepper; he’s got a daughter... a new baby. 

He can’t blame the man, not really, he was gone for five years. Blinked out of existence, dusted from his father’s arms. His dad moved on without him. 

But Peter’s back now, and everything’s different. 

The new house. 

His father’s new marriage. 

_Morgan Stark_ , his five-year-old half-sister. And he’s... he’s expected to just accept this. There’s this new family, formed _without_ him. 

His father has a new family... 

His dad wants him to be okay with this. Accept the fact he has a new sibling with open arms, and accept that they live in the middle of nowhere, beside a lake. Accept his father and Pepper are married and do the cuddly-married-people love gestures; like kisses and hand holding- she sits in his father’s lap and his dad presses kisses to her cheeks and her head. He does the same for Morgan... just like he’d done to Peter when he was young. 

Peter _isn’t_ okay. He isn’t. It’s different. Nothing’s the same. He’s never felt further away from his father. Tony’s got a good life here, and Peter... he’s just not a part of it- or well, hasn’t been. His dad wants him to be though. Tony wants nothing more than his two babies to get along- but it’s so _hard_. 

But he can force a smile. Pretend everything is okay. 

No one is wise to his tricks, accepting the smile and grinning their own at him. His dad is the worst for this. His dad used to be able to see straight through him, and now... the man just... it’s not the same. Nothing will be because Peter hasn’t been around. 

Blinked away. 

Gone with the wind. 

Dead to the world. 

Sometimes it still feels like he’s not there, as he watched the family of three curl up on the couch together, sing-songing the newest Disney movie that Peter didn’t even know existed. 

Watching his father’s face scrunch up with smile lines and eyes wrinkle as his cheeks lift in a real smile. 

Watching the man press innocent kisses to his baby’s cheek, or his wife’s lips. 

Peter always turns away, pulling his legs to his chest and hiding his face in the fabric of his pants, barely watching the show. 

_He doesn’t belong_. 

\---- 

“Hey, Pete,” Tony rapped his knuckles on his son’s bedroom door. The boy was still in his bed, curled in his blankets despite it being late in the afternoon. The boy stirred, glancing at his father with glossed eyes, “you okay, bud?” 

“Yeah, just tired...” Peter mumbled. 

“You sure?” Tony questioned, stepping into the room with a look of concern. 

A nod from the boy is the only response he received, so he sat himself on the boy’s desk chair. 

“I hope your room is okay,” Tony took a look around his son’s bedroom. It had been an indoor gym for many years, but he was quick to move everything to the garage for the arrival of his oldest son. 

“Yeah... it’s uh, it’s great dad.” Peter’s eyes trailed the room as well, stomach churning as he eyed everything. There wasn't a single thing that actually belonged to Peter in the room. Everything brand new, bought recently. 

It didn’t feel like his bedroom. He was a guest in this house. 

“Good,” Tony rubbed the back of his neck, “wanted to invite you; Pep, Morgan and I are heading into town today. Doing the grocery shopping and all that, thought maybe you’d want to tag along- y'know, pick out some new things for your room?” 

The words to decline sat on the tip of Peter’s tongue, but after studying his father for a second, he muttered a quiet agreement. His dad looked so hopeful, wanting to spend time as a family. 

Peter had been home for a month, Thanos had been killed and everyone who’d been ‘blipped’ returned safely. 

That said, the sixteen (twenty-one) year old had been avoiding everyone, holing himself in his bedroom and barely appearing for meals. It was concerning, but Tony knew the boy was obviously going through some things. 

“Great, Kiddo. Come down when you’re ready to hit the road, shower- you smell like teenager.” 

A small snort from the teenager as he burrowed into his blankets. Tony tapped his son’s ankle before leaving the room and heading to tell his girls that Peter wanted to tag along. Pepper too was worried, and Morgan excited to spend time with the big brother from her Daddy’s stories. 

The teenager rolled from his bed, dragging his hands down his face as he gathered some clothes, and headed for the shower. 

It did little to improve his mood, thoughts of tagging along with his father’s new family weighing heavily in the back of his mind. If third-wheeling was bad, being the illegitimate child trailing along behind the new, real family was on a totally new level. 

The car ride was uncomfortable for Peter; sat in the back beside his half-sister, who was singing loudly to the radio. Dad and Pepper were chatting in the front seat, and there was nothing for Peter to do except stare out the window. 

He chewed his lip and settled into his own silence, tuning them out. 

Being at the store wasn’t much better. The family moved with practiced ease, trailing the grocery store by heart; collecting rehearsed items and grinning at one another as they shared jokes Peter couldn’t understand. 

Peter stayed a few paces back, watching as his father pushed the cart, Morgan seated in the cart talking animatedly to her father and Pepper walking in front of the cart with a small smile as she added items to the cart. 

Peter walked slow, hands buried in his pockets, just watching how happy his dad looked. He looked like a normal dad; not stressed, joking around with his kid. He pressed kisses to Morgan’s cheeks when the girl was distracted, and beamed when she returned them. 

Peter couldn’t remember a time his father was this relaxed, leisurely walking through a grocery store without a care in the world. 

He was always stressed when Peter was little. Iron Man was always needed, and the man had become Iron Man when Peter was quite little. 

The teen wondered how long it would take the family to notice if he simply stopped walking or turned and walked the other direction. 

He didn’t, but he wondered nonetheless. 

“Hey, Pete, want some toaster waffles? You love those, don’t ya?” Tony turned his head, eyebrow raising at just how far back his son was. “There’s this new vanilla cupcake kind I think you’ll like.” 

Peter nodded, barely a tilt of his head, but it was all the man would get as the younger dropped his gaze to the floor. New kind of waffles. Who’d have guessed that? 

“Hey,” Pepper called from the front, smiling lightly when Peter looked up, “how about we pick up some Thai food for dinner? You always loved Thai.” Tony agreed instantly, beaming back at his son. 

Peter nodded with the smallest smile he could offer, though the biggest he could manage. He didn’t have the heart to deny them, not when they were trying so hard. 

Peter managed through the shopping trip, smiling and agreeing to things said to him, despite not caring. They had a set routine, and who was he to disturb it. 

A perfect little family. 

Walking to the car, Tony wrapped an arm around his boy’s shoulder, hand snaking up to ruffle through his eldest’s untamed curls. Pepper walked ahead with the cart, Morgan’s hand clutching the side of Pepper’s shirt, talking happily to her mother. 

“I’m glad you decided to tag along, Kiddo.” Tony muttered to his boy, happy to be spending time as the family he’d wanted since the day Peter faded away in his arms, and again when his baby girl was born. His two babies. 

“Yeah... I had fun, Dad.” Peter grinned, not quite meeting his eyes but fooling his father. The man chuckled, playfully pushing Peter away. Peter gave his best laugh, face down to hide his watering eyes. 

The car ride was filled with the family laughing, or most of them. Pepper ordered Thai from her phone that they’d pick up on their way out of town. Peter stared out the window, occasionally smiling when he’d make eye contact with his father or Pepper through the rear-view mirror. 

He had a front to keep up with them. He wasn’t going to take away their happy family time. 

“Petey, we should colour when we get home!” Morgan cheered, looking at her brother. Peter choked on his spit as he whipped his head to look at her. He caught both the adults looking back at him, watching the interaction, Pepper turned slightly to look, and his dad’s eyes following through the rear-view. 

“Uh, yeah, sure...” He didn’t have intentions to actually do it, but he couldn’t deny her when his father was giving him that look. 

He received smiles from everyone in the car, and it only made his stomach roll. They all were trying to include him. Trying so hard, but it wasn’t the same. He didn’t feel like he was one of them. 

He was a Stark, sure, but this was no longer his family. Not to him. It wasn’t the same. It wasn’t right, and maybe it was selfish, but he wanted his dad back. He wanted to be his father’s baby again. Curl up with him, and have his father run his finger through his hair as he’d done since he was born. 

Tony had a new baby now. 

A baby small enough to do just that, curl into her father’s lap and fall asleep against his chest. Small enough for him to hike up and carry to bed- tuck her in. 

Peter was an adult. He was twenty-one-year-old. He... he wasn’t his dad’s baby anymore. Dad had replaced him. 

When they returned to the cabin, the smell of Thai food had filled the car. Peter wanted to be helpful, help his father with the groceries like he always used to, but instead, his father shooed him away- _‘Common’ Petey, we’ve got this. You go take a load off. Pick something to watch after dinner.’_

The thought was there. Peter bowed his head, thanking his father before taking off towards the house. Tony, Pepper and Morgan all collected some bags and made their way inside. 

Peter couldn’t fault his father for doing this, he’d always been a man of routine when it came to caring for his kid. Kids. Caring for his kids. It was a family event to carry in groceries, apparently. 

He didn’t turn the TV on, leaving that for Morgan to do. 

After his father and Pepper had finished putting everything away, Tony called his kids to dinner. 

It was awkward for Peter, just like every other meal Peter had had with the family. He pushed his food around his plate, not really feeling hungry. 

“Dad,” he called the man’s attention, Tony looked up from his conversation with Pepper towards his son, then down to Peter’s full plate and back to this kid. 

“Yeah, Pete?” 

“Can I go outside?” his father looked concerned by his request, then exasperated as Morgan exclaimed, she also wanted to go outside. 

“No, no, young lady. It’s PJs, movie and then bedtime for you!” Pepper spoke before the man, ruffling her daughter’s hair in an adoring way. 

Tony watched with a fond smile before glancing back at his son, “sure, Pete. Come back in when it starts to get dark.” 

The teen was quick to leave the table, snorting to himself when he noticed that it was almost dark already. The boy hurried outside the house, listening to his father talk to his daughter, teasing her and chasing her up the stairs to get her PJs on. 

Peter seated himself on the dock, stripping his shoes off so he could dip his toes in the water. 

It would be so easy to just... slip into the water. He didn’t have the strength to fight anymore. He’d been fighting for so long... 

Who would miss him if he did? 

Sure, his father would be upset, but he’d get over it. He had once... he could do it again. 

Maybe he and Pepper could just pop out another baby. 

Morgan had known him for like a month, so she really wouldn't miss him. He’d been a pretty shit brother, so she shouldn’t miss him. 

And Pepper, he knows she’ll miss him, but she too will be fine. She has her actual baby, and his dad. 

They’d been fine for the past five years, so why would they miss him now? 

Peter let himself settle into the quietness of the world around him. 

He’d missed his dad while he was trapped, locked away from the world. He wanted nothing more than to hug his father, and fall into his embrace. 

And he had, when he found his father after returning, he did just that. Hugging his dad tightly and fighting off tears as his dad hugged back and stroked through his hair, whispering quiet words. 

That had been the only time they hugged since he got back. He’d seen his father hug Morgan every morning, every night and multiple times throughout the day. 

He wanted nothing more than his father’s affection, but he never got it. His father didn’t hug him, or pat his hair back. He didn’t seek this though, so his father didn’t actually know Peter was longing for this. He knew that. 

He just wanted his dad. 

Peter almost fell into the lake when someone sat beside him. The warm body startled him, but the hand on his shoulder grounded him. 

“You okay, Underroos?” _Dad_. 

“Yeah... yeah, I’m cool dad. Why?” 

“You’ve been... I don’t know. Quiet... Sad, a little upset? Just wanted to check in with you.” 

Peter knew he could come clean to his father. About his thoughts, about his feelings. But he couldn’t, not when his dad was so happy and doing so well. He couldn’t be the person to ruin what his father had built for himself. 

“I- I’m okay. Just, tired, y’know. It uh... being... away... really takes it outta ya.” 

“Yeah,” the man nodded his head, “I can see that.” His hand settled on Peter’s back rubbing a gentle circle. “Morgan missed you during the movie, and Pepper was starting to get concerned that you fell into the lake.” 

Peter glanced up, finally noticing that the sky was completely black now. Wow, he’d been out here for a whole movie length. 

“D-dad, I’m sorr-” 

“None of that,” Tony shook his head with a small smile, “you’re fine, Kiddo. Just wanted to come check on you, drag you in.” Tony gave him a grin, “whaddya say you, me an’ Pep all watch a movie together? No Disney, I promise.” The man placed a hand over his heart as if to swear this, “back when you were that little ball of sunshine, you loved movie night.” 

“S-sure,” Peter smiled. He stood, offering his hand to his father, and pulling the man to his feet as well. They walked in together. Pepper already had popcorn, and was sitting on the couch waiting. 

“What do you feel like watching, Sweetie?” Pepper tilted her head, patting the space next to herself. Peter sat, settling back and letting himself feel the comfort of his father and Pepper’s attention. It was nice. 

“How about Star Wars? Been a while since-” he stopped talking, noting the grim look on his father’s face, “I love those films,” he corrected. 

“I know you do, Kid, I’ve seen each at least ten times,” Tony snorted, settling down beside his son, arm spread along the back of the couch. 

Peter smiled as his father played his favorite from the series. It was only about half an hour into the film when a sniffle sounded in the room. It drew in dad’s and Pepper’s attention before Peter’s. 

“Mommy, daddy, I had a bad dream,” a small voice informed from the doorway of the living room. 

“Awh, baby,” Pepper cooed, standing first to go to and lift the child into her arms. 

“I’ll go put her back to bed, you two continue the movie.” Pepper informed with a small smile as he turned away with a sniffling Morgan. 

Peter wanted to steal his father away. He wanted the man to continue watching the movie with him, continue to feel his father’s warmth- but the way the man stared at the doorway, Peter knew he wanted to be somewhere else. 

“Y’know, dad,” Peter yawned theatrically, “I’m pretty tired. I think I’ll just head off to bed now.” 

“You sure, Petey?” Tony turned his attention to his son, taking him in and eyeing the teen with a fatherly look. 

“...yeah, I’m beat.” Peter nodded, standing up. “I’ll, uh, I’ll see you in the morning.” 

“Okay, Kiddo,” Tony agreed, standing as well, “sleep well, Bud.” 

“Thanks,” and then Peter was alone in his room. It was dark, and the boy didn’t like it. The stone had been dark. He remembered the stone, not that he’d tell his father. When he’d first seen his father again, he’d reported his experience blankly, telling his father what he wanted to hear ‘I musta blacked out or something, and then the next thing I know Doctor Strange is telling me we’ve got to go and doing his sparkling time thing!’ 

If only that had been true. He was awake the whole time, alone. Locked with his thoughts, voice raw from screaming for help and begging for his father. Pitch black, unable to see his fingers held in front of his face and his suit virtually powerless- web fluid long gone and nothing around to even web. 

An empty void with no escape. 

He could hear his father’s voice from the bedroom down the hall, and it wasn’t as soothing as he would’ve hoped. The man cooed and shushed Morgan, speaking in a soft tone. Peter cursed his advanced hearing, pulling his pillow over his ears to drown it out. 

Peter dreamed of the stone that night, awoken by a cold sweat and heavy breathing. Thankfully Friday the tattletale wasn’t at the cabin. 

\---- 

It was a few days later that Peter was starting to think he was at the end of his rope. He couldn't deal with this. 

He couldn’t watch his father and Pepper be so devoted to Morgan. 

They were this... this cute little family, and he was just there. That kid in the guest room. In the back of his mind he knew that they loved him, and that they considered him to be a part of their little family, but he couldn’t- 

_He didn’t belong_. 

The world had changed. Ned and his family had all been dusted, and MJ as well. They were all still the same age, no one had been left behind, and everyone closer due to the fact they’d all been in the stone. 

Peter hadn’t been so lucky. Tony and Pepper had survived the stone. They’d created life in his time in the stone. He hadn’t even gotten to watch Morgan grow up any. He was just this... this idea in her head. Of this superhero, and he didn’t _feel_ like a superhero. 

He didn’t feel like Tony Stark’s kid anymore. 

Didn’t feel like he deserved to be at the cabin with them. 

Or that he deserved to have Morgan as a little sister. He was treating her terribly, but she still invited him to play, begged to play with her tea set or to parade dolls around the living room. She beamed at him when he stepped foot in the same room with her, and knocked on his door to ask him to colour, or watch a movie with her. And he declined. _Every. Single. Time_. 

All he could see was how much his father loved her. How much he loved Pepper. How Morgan had been created so close after he’d been snapped away. 

Had they even missed him? 

He was struggling, and after their time apart, no one seemed to notice. His father never once brought it up. Pepper would give him sad eyes but not say a thing. And Morgan, far too young to understand the fading light in her brother’s eyes. 

Peter couldn’t stop the thoughts in his mind. The easy ways out. He could just off himself. 

They wouldn’t care. 

He’d be free from this guilt of leaving them and the sadness of being replaced and forgotten. 

They didn’t need him, not with the perfect little family thing they had going on. 

Peter gulped, sadness weighing the rational part of his brain begging him to reconsider the fact that his father loves him unconditionally. Preaching that they would be devasted to lose him again. 

But his heavy heart won, treading to the bathroom across the hall that was his bedroom (his room was a guest room, and only the actual bedrooms had ensuite bathrooms). 

He eased the door shut behind himself, clicking the door locked. He listened for a second, to his father talk to Pepper and Morgan in the living room, some kid’s cartoon filling the room with noise. Tears clouded his eyes as he pulled the medicine cabinet open. 

The bathroom was stocked with Peter’s medications- ones he’d gotten over the years. His asthma inhalers, anxiety medication, Captain America metabolism approved pain medication and Advil. 

He settled himself against the bathtub after grabbing the pain meds, popping the cap easily and knocking ten or eleven tablets into his palm. 

He stared at them for a second, listening to his family bond and interact through the floor. 

Then, he downed the pills, knocking a couple more back as he let his head fall against the bathtub ledge. 

\---- 

Tony knew very well his son was having a hard time adjusting to the life he’d created for himself in the boy’s absence. 

Anyone would. 

Peter now had a mom, and a little sister. 

He came back from the dead. 

Tony was thrilled to have his boy back. He’d suffered the greatest heartbreak he’d ever experienced as he watched his son, his pride and joy, his _little baby boy_ , turn to dust in his arms. Peter’s broken begs of _‘I don’t want to go,’_ forever haunting him. 

He’d been a wreck. And he was thankful Pepper still wanted to be with him, since he was sure he wasn’t pleasant to be around. 

He lost a child, and nothing could change that. 

Then Pepper had gotten pregnant. He didn’t want more kids after losing his first, but from the moment he held the baby in his arms, he knew he’d protect her just as he swore to do for Peter. It was an empty promise, since he knew he’d done the same thing for Peter, and the boy was gone, but he would try so hard for her. 

Things just started getting better from there. He couldn’t be sad all the time, not when Morgan was growing smarter and smarter with each passing day. She deserved to be happy, and not see Peter being gone in the same darkness he, as the boy’s father, saw it as. 

So, he made his son the hero he knew he’d always be for the little girl. He told her stories of her big brother and praised the man he'd become. 

He still had bad days, or sometimes bad weeks- especially around the month of August or special holidays, but he put on a mask for his wife and daughter. 

But Peter was back, and he was trying so hard. He was trying to be the perfect father. And to get the two kids, his two kids to get along. It was a shock for Peter and he knew he’d have to accept a slow crawl in the sibling bonding area. 

His boy was back though, and he was willing to wait for as long as Peter needed to feel at ease in his home. 

It was different from what Peter had grown up with. Settled down in an actual home and not some Malibu mansion, or a tower in the middle of New York city, or some Avenger’s Compound off the reserve. 

He wanted to cuddle his boy constantly, reassure him. Force the family bonding, and even take time to just sit with his son. 

But he didn’t want to overwhelm the boy. Peter had been through hell, and Tony would be damned if he just glossed over the fact and went at Peter full force. 

He hoped the kid would come to him after a while, express his concerns about how life had changed for the Stark family, but Peter never did. It was concerning, all the fake smiles he got, and the complete look of distraught when the boy had been sitting at the lake, feet submerged in the cascading water up to his mid-calf. 

The boy had been slinking into the water slowly, and Tony had found himself panicking and hurrying out to drag the boy inside. 

Peter was off, and the man knew it. 

It was worrying him. He was so fucking scared. 

“Where’s Pete?” Pepper questioned after coming back from the kitchen. 

“Upstairs?” Tony tilted his head, shifting his daughter off his lap and onto the couch to continue watching her show. 

“I just looked in his room,” Pepper explained, “he wasn’t there. I haven’t seen him in a few hours.” 

Tony was on high alert as he stood, making his way up the stairs. In the hallway that housed the bedrooms, he gave a quiet call of his son’s name, pushing the teen’s bedroom door open and almost collapsing at the sight of the empty unmade bed. 

“Peter?” He called once more, moving down the line of bedrooms and pushing each door open to check for the kid. 

He reached the last in the hallway, the bathroom that had been Peter’s since his bedroom didn’t have the ensuite one yet. He was in the middle of getting a contractor in to build a brand new one, and maybe expand the boy’s bedroom. 

The door didn’t budge as tony turned the knob and pushed with all his force. 

“Peter!” He yelled through the door, feeling himself grow more and more panicked as each silent second passed. “Peter Anthony Stark open this door this instant.” He demanded, banging on the door vigorously. 

When he received nothing, red flags raised in his head. 

_Oh god._

“Tony, what’s-” 

“Peter!” Tony slammed his shoulder into the door, withdrawing only to slam it again. The door cracked quietly, and the sound of crying filled his ears, but his thoughts were elsewhere. 

“Please,” he cried out quietly, “Petey, common, Bud, please...” 

Another slam of his shoulder and the hinges snapped. He pulled the door and froze, taking in the sight of his son slouched against the side of the bathtub. Peter’s eyes were shut and he was barely still sitting, body caving over itself. 

“No, no!” Tony cried out as he fell to his knees beside his baby boy, cradling the boy’s head, “Peter, baby boy, please. No...” 

He lifted his son into his arms, dragging his boy’s chest to meet his ear, listening to any sound of a pulse, and it was faintly there. 

So very faint that Tony cried out. 

Pepper gasped, shaky hand raising to cover her mouth as her other hand blocked the whimpering five-year-old's view of the scene. 

“Peter,” Tony cried out, “I-I’ve gotta get him, he’s-” He scooped the boy up, running past his wife and daughter, desperately thumping down the stairs and out the door, and across the deck. He moved fast, depositing his son in the car. 

“Call the hospital, tell them we’re on our way-” Tony called to his wife tears streaming down his face. 

His child, his baby boy was dying. Peter was dying, and it was because he hadn’t noticed his signs. He hadn't acted on Peter’s signs. 

It was a ten-minute drive to the nearest hospital, and Tony had never been more thankful Pepper had requested that, _‘what if something happens to Morgan? We need to be able to get her help quickly.’_ If he sped, he’d make it there in record time. 

“Hang in there, Pete, Daddy’s got you. I got you, baby.” 

The boy gave nothing back, and Tony’s heart shattered, which brought on a whole new set of tears. 

His left-hand fingers tapped aimlessly on the steering wheel, while the right hand gripped the wheel tightly. His eyes shifted to his son, licking his dry lips as the boy jostled with each bump in the road. 

They arrived at the hospital in six minutes, since Tony may or may not have been ignoring literally every road regulation, but his son was _dying_. 

He scooped his son up, the boy weighing practically nothing in his arms, a dull ache tugging at his heart as he thought of all the meals his son had passed on. He should’ve been stricter. 

“Please! Help, he- my son, he’s taken something- I-I don’t... please help!” 

Tony could barely blink as his boy was peeled from his arms, placed on a gurney and rolled away without much thought. The man stared, stood frozen in the hallways, watching where the boy had disappeared. 

His Peter. 

His baby boy... 

People moved around him, and his feet took him to the waiting area on autopilot when someone mentioned he was blocking the hallways. 

He couldn’t believe he’d let Peter get this bad. He knew. He knew his son was struggling. 

It was stupid of him to hope the boy would come to him about it first- his kid had anxiety about shit like that- had been prescribed medication to help and everything. He’d waited around like a fucking imbecile and now his baby was in the hospital. Peter could die for the second time, and this time could’ve been _avoided_. 

Tony let his head fall into his hands, thumbs digging into his tired eyes. He wanted to cry. He wanted to cry so badly. He’d been a terrible father. Peter had... he’d tried to kill himself. 

Someone who was doing just fine physically and mentally wouldn’t try to end their life. Peter wasn’t okay. Peter hadn’t been okay. He’d been just... hoping everything would turn out okay. Everyone had different experiences with the snap, and everyone was dealing differently. Peter had been dead for five years, and Tony had had to live on, and try to not think of his only son being gone in what could be one of the worst ways he could think of. 

He understood, on some insane part of everything. It was different. Peter came home only to be fucked with a brand-new life he’d had no say in whatsoever. Peter had a new family, a new home, his dad was in an actual healthy relationship, and he had another _child_. 

It felt like hours before Pepper managed to jog in, Morgan not to be seen. He watched Pepper’s eyes scan the room, and then Tony dropped his head down once more when he see that the woman had seen him. 

Pepper was quick to fall into the seat beside him, her hand instantly finding his back and rubbing careful circles between his shoulder blades. 

“How is he?” she sounded out of breath, and Tony knew he should be a concern husband, and a good father to his youngest and be concerned about where she was, but all he could really think about was Peter. 

He gave his wife a helpless shrug, looking up briefly only to duck his head down again to hide his damp eyes. 

A glance on the clock opposite he two told him it was mid-evening now, just past Morgan’s bedtime. They’d been about to finish dinner and call the kids to eat when Pepper had brought Peter’s absence up. 

“I got Morgan fed, and Mrs. Barker said she’d stay with Morgan until one of us comes home. She... she’s terrified, Tony.” 

“I’m sorry,” Tony whispered, his voice small as he thought to his little girl being scared, but at the moment he had bigger things to be worried about. He hoped neither were mad at him, his outburst had been a little extreme, but it was all in the moment- a father doing what needed to be done to save his baby. 

“Don’t apologies,” Pepper frowned, voice quiet. “Peter has a fighting chance because you did what you did,” Pepper’s voice broke, “he has another chance... where we can, we’ll take care of him Tony. He’ll be okay.” 

Her head settled on his shoulder and he could resist the urge to let his head fall against hers. A tear trailed his cheek and he reached up to swipe it away, sniffling quietly as his eyes shut in an attempt to control the inevitable waterworks that were slowly surfacing. 

\---- 

It was hours of waiting, waiting silently without a word spoken to them. Other came and left, but the two remained silently into the early hours of the morning. 

Tony would switch between loathing himself in his chair, and pacing the length of the emergency waiting room countless times. His mind always falling back into his thoughts of Peter. His first born, his baby. The one he’d lost once, and now the boy was really giving him a run for his money. 

He couldn’t handle the boy leaving him again. The first time had just about broken him beyond repair, and if Peter died... he wasn’t sure he could piece himself back together again. 

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, a doctor approached them. 

It had been so long that Tony's mind instantly assumed she’d be heading to talk to another anxious couple, but to his surprise, she halted in front of them. 

She wore a small smile, eyes sympathetic as she spoke. 

“Peter Stark?” 

A quick nod from Tony, and an audible yes from Pepper was confirmation enough for the woman to launch into a probably very rehearsed spiel of what Peter had done, how they fixed it and help they could seek when the boy was ready for it. 

She also commented on Peter’s strange statistics, but Tony brushed it off, instead questioning just where the hell his kid was now. 

The doctor led the pair to Peter’s room. 

It was heart breaking to see his son in the bed, pale white but breaths even. Tony made a beeline to his son, pushing back his hair and leaning down to press a kiss to the child’s heated skin. 

Only slightly above regular body temperature, but it was a thousand times better then freezing cold skin. Peter was alive. His son was okay. 

Physically, at least. 

“He fared well with the pumping of his stomach. Honestly, it’s a miracle his body is still functioning without any organ damage. His blood toxin levels were off the charts, and it wasn’t looking too good for a while.” 

Tony swallowed, stroking his thumb along Peter’s cheek. 

The doctor took his silence as her que to leave- or, maybe it was Pepper excusing them to be alone with their son, whatever happened, Tony barely heard it. 

His thoughts were on his boy. 

His very much alive little boy. 

Peter was alive. 

He would be okay. 

\---- 

It was another hour or so until Peter woke up. The boy stirred in the bed, and then his face pinched in a pained expression as his hand slipped to cradle his stomach. 

“Hey, bub,” Tony whispered softly, aware of the boy’s enhanced hearing, and not wanting to cause his child discomfort. “Tummy hurt?” 

Peter nodded, blinking his eyes open, then shut again. Pepper stepped up to stroke across his cheek, and Peter leaned into the touch. 

“I’m in the hospital,” the boy noted, voice scratchy as he winced once more. 

“You, uh, you...” Tony trailed off. 

That was all Peter needed before his face contorted into pure horror. Tony took a step back as the kid shot himself up into a sitting position and eyes his father closely. 

Tony knew he was probably looking like shit. How could he not be? His kid had attempted suicide. He was clearly doing something wrong with this whole parenting thing, if the boy wanted to end his own life. 

“ _Dad_ ,” Peter’s voice flooded the room. The one word held more emotion then the man had seen from his son since the boy had turned thirteen. The one word simultaneously made Tony’s heart clench with love and dread at once. “I’m sorry...” 

“No,” Tony hushed, voice low as if he were tucking the boy in for the night. He took a seat carefully on the edge of his son’s bed, wanting to reach out and just touch the teen as a peace of mind that his boy was okay. 

The boy scooted over and Tony’s whole being lit up in warmth. His baby was alive, and speaking, and cuddling up to him. “I should be sorry, Kiddo... you.. I’m sorry. This is a mess. I should’ve, I should’ve been more invested in you, Pete. You got dusted away, and I just... I guess I let the thought you were home get in the way of how you were doing.” Tony gulped, looking at his wife before returning his gaze to his run and carding his fingers through the boy’s sweat ridden locks. 

“No- dad,” 

“Peter, I know I rushed into everything. I was just... we were so happy to have you back. It was five years without you, without my baby boy- and I... I just wanted everything to go back to normal. But you... you weren’t right. I saw it. I had this stupid hope you’d come to me, and you’d want my help- but I should’ve... I should’ve gone to you. I watched you deteriorate, Kid. I could’ve helped you-” 

“No.” Peter’s face scrunched up after he spoke the word loudly. “No, you couldn’t of, Dad,” Peter’s voice softened. Tony opened his mouth to speak, but Peter continued before he could, “I... you’re not the same. No one’s the same. I-I I was gone for so long... and I lied, Dad. I lied about the stone.” Peter took a shallow breath, eyes glistening with unshed tears. 

“You... what do you mean?” 

“I lied,” Peter sobbed, the flood gate breaking, “it was horrible, it was quiet. I was awake the whole time, an’ I, I felt it. I felt my body get dusted, and it h-hurt, Daddy, It hurt a lot. And then I was... it was so quiet and dark. I was, a-alone for s-so long. I’m scared all the time- m-my room, it’s so dark and, and the silence of the house...” Peter took a breath, “It’s like I’m back there- and it’s stupid. I’m twenty-one years old, dad. I shouldn’t be afraid of the dark, or, or need to depend on you, and seek comfort from you-” 

“Peter, you’re only sixteen,” Tony attempted to reign in his raging emotions, “you were gone for five years, buddy, you’re not twenty-one. You didn’t grow, or mature- despite what your birth certificate says, you are my sixteen-year-old son. You’re my little boy, and you can be sixteen for as long as you need. I... don’t grow out of me, Kid. I just got you back... I can’t, you can’t feel like this. I need you to depend on me... at least for a little while longer.” 

“Peter, sweetheart, you don’t have to be afraid of us... we love you unconditionally. I know you’re afraid... afraid we moved on, and now that we have Morgan, you’re afraid you’ve been replaced, but it’s not true. You’re always going to be Tony’s first-born son, and you’ll always be my first baby too. I changed just as many diapers as he did, and I love you just as much as I love your little sister...” Pepper took a seat on the other side of the bed, brushing Peter’s hair back and planting a kiss on his head. 

Peter only let out a broken sob and curled his body into his father’s. Tony accepted the embrace incredibly fast, pulling Pepper in by her arm to join the cuddles. The youngest in the room turned his head to nuzzle against Pepper as a sort of acceptance of her into the embrace with his father. 

He was his mom; she had been since he was little. She’d always been there, even when she wasn’t with his father romantically. 

“I’m sorryyy...” Peter sobbed, “I was so sad, and, and scared... and you... you guys just... Morgan- you had Morgan and everything was so perfect. I was an outsider.... and, and I don’t _belong_ anymore...” Peter’s breath was erratic as he choked the words into his father’s t-shirt. “Didn’t wanna ruin your perfect family...” 

Tony’s breath caught in his throat. He knew his son was going through some change problems, but he hadn’t he didn’t think Peter would be feeling like this. 

“No...” Tony hummed in his own broken voice, nuzzling his nose into Peter’s hair, “no, Petey, you’re not an outsider. You’re perfect. We’re perfect with you, and Morgan. We’re a perfect family now that you’ve returned home to us- to me. You came home, baby...” Tony brushed a collection of light kissed to his son’s head before setting his cheek against the boy’s hair. 

“you just... we never... I only got that one hug, dad. When, when I first came back. That was... I needed more, I- you were always so affectionate with Morgan and I, I thought it was me... maybe you didn’t wanna hug me anymore... but I need it. I wanted you to hug me and cuddle me and I know I’m too old, but I just craved it-” 

“No, no, Pete,” Tony’s voice finally broke. His heart was being torn apart by his little boy. His son who though he didn’t want to hug him anymore, “you’re never too old, baby. I wanted to hug you, every second- but you were so closed off, and I didn’t want to overwhelm you.” Tony swallowed hard, clearing his throat in what could only be guilt. “I’m sorry, baby... I’m so, so sorry...” 

“T’s okay, dad,” Peter mumbled sleepily as he nuzzled his nose in his father’s comforting scent, right where the arc Reactor had once been imbedded in his chest. 

“I love you, Petey,” Tony promised softly, “I love you so much, please... please never... never again, Pete. I can’t handle it. I need you Bud.” 

“I-I love you too, Daddy,” Peter whimpered into the man’s clothes, “and you mom..” Peter said quietly, “I love you.” 

“Pepper cleared her throat; once, twice, but Tony and Peter could both still hear the tremor in her voice as she whispered that she loved Peter twice as much. 

\---- 

Peter had to admit he was feeling a bit better after talking to his father and Pepper about everything. He’d been suffering, since the day the man had taken that little girl into his arms and introduced her as his little sister. 

He’d been discharged soon after their little heart-to-heart session and he was under the watchful eye of all three of his family members. His father had booked him biweekly minimum therapy sessions, but more of course if he needed them. 

Tony spent a great deal of time wrapping around his son and holding him close. His heart still broke at Peter’s cries that he thought the man no longer wanted to coddle him, but he was making up for it in being an affectionate doting father. Tony held the boy every chance he got, even managing to curl up with both his children at the same time a few times. It was a work in progress, but they were moving forwards. 

Peter was starting accept Morgan. It was hard. This was his father’s new baby. And as the first baby, a second is always hard whether it’s when you’re young or when you’re twenty-one bordering on sixteen. 

He actually really like his sister. Morgan was clever just like he and their dad, and he also saw lots of Pepper coming through in the child. 

It helped a lot that his mother and father sat down with him and the trio looked through photo albums of when Peter was little as well as Morgan, comparing how similar the two looked when they were brand new babies. 

Peter was doing much better weeks after his attempt. He was glad he pulled through. He was starting to get closer to his family and starting to be more a part of the family and it was... nice. 

He finally had his daddy back, and along with the man came two girls who loved him just as much as his father. 

He’d stick around for a while. 

He wasn’t about to leave any time soon. 

He really did belong with his dad, his mom and his new little sister. 

_He did belong_.

Everything would be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments and Kudos are greatly appreciated and they make me super happy and inspired to write more when I see them! 
> 
> I've got more things planned, and hopefully you'll be interested in them! (probably not as angsty as this one though!)


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